i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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