I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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