Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
