Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
