i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
