We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
