At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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