then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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