Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
