YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
