Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
