small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
