I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
