About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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