All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
