Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
