I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
