BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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