i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
