Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
