the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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