I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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