i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
