I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
