I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
