I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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