I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
