she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
