Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
