talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
