I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
