I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Everclear isn't food dammit
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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