New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just had sex on a roof
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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