did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
