It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
