oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
