I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
