Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
