So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
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