So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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