Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
