will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
