so that wasnt chicken after all
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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