Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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