Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
