Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
