Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Vodka?
Forever.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
