I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
