I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
