he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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