dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
